The Luminous Heart

A call for hope,
Written by: Ehab Shawky
Inspired by Ameer Az-Zalam (Egypt 2002)

luminous heart

Light resides within hearts;
Let it hug hope rays before its sun sets
You either remain steadfast,
or you shall live alone trapped in life’s nets

Despair is weakness and a cowardly fear;
hope opens locked doors, and dreams cheer

You either remain steadfast,
or you shall live alone amidst your past

Touch the greenness of the trees;
feel the moon’s light, and its cool breeze

Carve hearts on senseless stones;
radiate life into decaying bones

Ahead of you… hurry… crossover
Walk the distance, it’s not yet over

What else could bring your dreams near,
save a heart that knows no fear?

Many people accept their fate,
they blindly catch its bate;
swaying amidst life’s blows,
they raise the white flag, and of their dreams dispose.

You either remain steadfast,
or you shall live alone downcast

Sweeten the bitterness of the days;
seek to make your life blaze

Getup, color your dreams;
from dark clouds, create rainbow beams

Inside your body, there is still a soul,
capable of treating your heart’s hole

Of your weakness stop screaming,
and don’t you dare stop dreaming.

luminous heart-3

 Inspired by Ameer Az-Zalam theme (Egypt 2002)

Brain Vs. Mind

The following is a quick insight into the most important merit of Awareness, that is the realization and perception of our nature as human beings. It’s a quick journey into our essence and reality.

Pondering over the Human Mind, Consciousness, and perception, one can’t help but realize that, as humans, we are distinguished above other creatures by the Mind, whose most important characteristic is Awareness. How can we define those terms, and how are they related to one another?

“Awareness”: is the ability to perceive our surroundings, our self being, our feelings, thoughts, desires, beliefs, and freedom of choice. It’s what makes us feel alive. It is simply the difference between an awake person and a sleeping one. When you wake up at morning, don’t you feel that you were nonexistent then your senses start coming back gradually? You first become aware of who or what is waking you up, where you are, the things you have to do this morning, and now you are back to life’s theater, you are back to awareness. Awareness could be compared to the electric current without which computers don’t work. A lot of biologists consider the mind —that is responsible for awareness— to be a direct result for the physical brain, exactly like kidneys produce the urine. Darwinists think that as soon as the physical brain reached its current size and amazing complexity, the mind emerged spontaneously as a direct result for evolution.

Those who suggest that the mind emerged naturally from the physical brain face several problems because of that very same concept under discussion, that is awareness.
Firstly, their suggestion means that substance is characterized by a concealed mind of its own. When it reaches a certain stage of complexity in its construction, it explodes and the concealed capabilities emerge. The end product is that they have given materialistic substances qualities that totally contradict the materialistic concepts, this is closer to the religious concepts than science.
Secondly, if the mind emerged from materialistic substances without any need for a higher absolute intelligence, then how can we trust its judgments?! For simplicity, imagine that a mentally retarded person makes a computer program, will you trust the outputs of this program?! How be it if this programmer had no mind whatsoever?!
Thirdly, if the mind emerged from materialistic substance, this means that it shall consequently follow its definitive chemical and physical laws that give constant outputs. These definitive laws contradict the freedom of choice of all humans; i.e., you may continue to read this post or simply close it and continue browsing. If the mind was a direct result to the physical brain, then all humans would have adopted the same view for every issue. That’s because the materialistic view is always one for every issue as you can see in all physical matters. Accordingly, personal perspectives which are the most important characteristic of human beings shall disappear. Thus, if this suggestion was true, the human mind wouldn’t have existed in the first place.

Let’s seek practical evidence. There is no doubt that practical evidences are the strongest. Dr. Wilder Penfield (The founder of modern neurosurgery and a Nobel Prize winner) has performed more than 1000 operations for epileptic patients who did not respond to medical therapy. During the operations performed under local anesthetization, he tried to reach the location of the human mind within the physical brain through electrical activation for the different centers of the cerebral cortex. On activating a certain part of the cortex, one of the patients’ hands moved, but the patient would then try to stop it with his other hand. When Penfield discussed the matter with his patients later on, they said that he was the one moving their hands and that they could not stop it. This means that while one hand was moving under the electrical activation’s control, the patient’s freewill was trying to stop it with his or her other hand. This proves that humans have “freewill” separate from the electrochemical activities of the brain. Dr. Penfield admitted that the brain and the mind are two separate things and each has a different nature. After his thorough researches on the human brain, Dr. Roger Sperry (a Nobel Prize winner for his research about the different brain functions) confirmed too that the mental functions do not emerge from the normal activities of the physical brain, even though they use it as a machine.

A person may make some tests to check on his heart and brain functions. But he will never make a neurological cerebellum examination to check on the correctness of his thoughts and feelings. Absolutely, there is no brain check that can scan our thoughts, and determine if they were wrong or right. What’s going on inside our minds is something very private and totally irrelevant to materialism.

Awareness is one of the mind’s functions, but the mind itself is not the apex of the pyramid, it’s just one of the self-being manifestations. You cannot get to know a person through lab tests and X-ray checkups. You must know how he feels, what his thoughts are, his aspirations, and his view of the whole existence, in order to really know him. In short, the essence of any human being goes far beyond his body, brain, consciousness, or even his mind. It is rather that intrinsic nature that integrates all of the previous and makes you feel a whole consistent being who realizes himself and name it “ME.” This is why: when Sir “John C. Eccles” was receiving the Nobel Prize for his research on “Brain Biology,” he said: “I find myself compelled to say that there is a non-materialistic nature for my being and my mind, a nature that agrees with what the religious call the ‘Soul.’ ”

All religions indicate that the soul is the immaterialistic essence of any human. The dualism of the soul and the body could even be found in all civilizations throughout the history all over the globe. This dualism has even been the main pillar of the ancient Egyptian civilization that goes back more than 7000 years.


In response to: Aware

GOD’s Existence – Skepticism Vs. Faith

The following is an illustrative conversation Which I have written a while ago. It’s occuring between 2 friends; one of them is a skeptic whom I called Amr and the other is a student in “Al-Azhar university for Islamic studies” whom I called Zein. The conversation is a debate about having faith in the existence of God.

Amr: If there existed a creator free from any flaws; then how come that His creation is full of them?!”

Zein: That’s ordinary; this worldly life is nothing but a brick in a high rise building, it’s a test in which we are born totally pure. Then; while growing up; we learn all sorts of things; some good and some bad, this is why this Creator never forsakes us for our whim and lusts, but He sends us His messages and prophets to teach us how to live rightly. Those who betray, fornicate, commit adultery, steal, lie, kill, etc… are disobeying the laws of this creator and disobeying his messengers. Their sins cause corruption and great evils; which is the main defect that shall lead to our destruction. God says in the Qur’an: “Corruption has appeared throughout the lands and seas by reason of what the hands of people have earned so He may let them taste part of the consequences of their actions that perhaps they will desist.” [The Qur’an (30:41)]. Prophet Muhammad also said while invoking God: “Evil is not ascribed to You.” Every day you can see people complaining from the corruption and evils they face in this world. This worldly life is just a step that we have to take in order to reach a world in which the system is perfect and no one complains anymore. But you have to understand that only those who deserve to live in such a perfect system are the ones who shall be admitted into it. I believe that we can consider this a universal law:

“Life of a system” is directly proportional to “the Degree of perfection of that system”

This is exactly why this creator has created another place in which everything is perfect and life is eternal for those who abide by His laws and teachings in this defective worldly life. As for those who decline and turn their backs to His laws; He created another place in which everything is disgustful. These flaws and iniquities are the result of creating us having free wills; able to choose and select our own deeds and actions. How unfortunate it is that many people choose to satisfy their lusts and indulge into all sorts of sins instead of choosing a righteous life.

 Amr: But why didn’t this creator create us compelled to obey Him like those creatures you call angels for instance. Why did He create us having lusts and free wills? It’s as if He wants us to make sins?!

 Zein: This was His method in creating the most perfect creatures ever. He granted us the freedom of choice, thereafter He gave us the chance to perform and display our characters and real-selves through our choices and actions in order to prove whether we deserve to be a part of the perfect system or not. Angels are not tested because they were created compelled to obey the creator; they are His obedient servants; this is why scholars agree that those who follow their intellect and obey God though they were created with lusts and have free wills are better than angels. Hence; by means of perfection; those who were given the freedom of choice and chose to do what’s right are the most perfect creatures.

 Amr: If this Creator is Omniscient as you claim; then why didn’t He just use His vast knowledge of everything including the future and determine whom are the ones who shall deserve to dwell in His perfect system “Paradise” and whom are the ones who don’t? Surely He would have spared Himself and us this intermediate step which you call the worldly life?!

 Zein: Well; this is the pact He took upon Himself; that He shall not award or punish anyone before setting his/her own deeds as witnesses upon themselves, and that He shall not waste any of their good deeds and if they ask His forgiveness for their sins and repent sincerely; He shall forgive them. Think of this logically; if you were condemned to dwell in the hell fire for eternity without living this worldly life; wouldn’t you have wanted to get a chance in this life to prove that you could have been among the dwellers of paradise?! This worldly life is the chance that we all need; so we should seize the opportunity and do our best.

 Amr: If this claimed Creator was aiming to create the most perfect system from the beginning, then why is there hell? Or are you claiming that this torture pit is also a perfect system?!

 Zein: The perfect system is the one in which justice is established firmly without any procrastination. If justice was not established; then this could never be a perfect system. Now try to imagine a thief stealing your mother’s purse, when your father tried to stop him; he shot both your parents killing them at site and he got away with his crime in this worldly life, would it be fair if he never gets punished for what he has done?! What about Hitler who has killed 4,000,000 civilians; most of them burned in furnaces and he was never punished for this?! What about traitors, rapists, thieves, murderers, drug dealers, children abusers, thugs, bullies and all those who never care about other people’s lives and security? Would you call the system that lets them get away with their crimes a perfect system?! By all means; those who hurt others should receive the appropriate punishment for what they have done either in this life or in the next. As for those who get away with their crimes in this life; God has prepared the hell fire for their retribution.

Amr: If you are speaking about justice; then how come that hell is eternal and those who were sinners in this life shall dwell inside it forever?! Justice is to punish criminals in the same magnitude of their crimes, not to torture them forever.

 Zein: Totally agree; and God is never unjust; on the contrary He is most Merciful and His mercy precedes His anger. This is why the prophet P.B.U.H. told us that God shall bring out many people from the Hell fire; anyone with one jot or title of faith shall be saved after receiving the proper punishment for his/her evil deeds. That is also why God says in the Qur’an: “No soul will bear another’s burden, nor do We punish until We have sent a messenger.” [The Qur’an (17:15)] Consequently those who never received a warner or a messenger to teach them about God’s laws and righteous path shall be given the choice whether to believe or not on the judgment day. Many scholars say that even those who receive the message of God but in a distorted manner shall be treated in a similar way. This is why the main concern of the Qur’an is to make people believe in the existence of the mighty Creator and warn them of His anger may they desist from disobeying His laws or at least have the slightest portion of faith that may eventually save them after receiving their punishment. But as for those who deny reason and turn their backs out of arrogance; those who do not intend to repent from their evil deeds ever; their punishment shall be according to their intentions; this is why hell is eternal for those who don’t have any faith nor do they intend to get to know and fear their Creator ever.

 Amr: Why is the relation with this creator always built upon fear?! If He were the most merciful as you say; why should all people fear His wrath and torment?! A relation built upon fear could never be a sound relation.

 Zein: If this is what you understood from my words; then I apologize, but I believe that the context we were speaking in was about the hell fire, sinners and the warnings directed to them. By all means the relation with God is not solely built upon fear. We all loved our fathers, but still we always had some fear from their anger towards us whenever we did something wrong. This fear was like a driving force that always pushed us towards being better persons. Likewise; the relation with our Creator is also built upon both love and fear. True correct worship rituals is a combination of those two feelings, but building faith on only one of them is incomplete and has many dangerous traps that people fall into.

Sincere worship = Loving God + Fearing God

The prophet P.B.U.H. said: “If you knew how merciful God is you would have relied upon His mercy and refrain from making any efforts (in obeying Him), and if you knew His anger, nothing of what you do could relieve your fear.”

How poor are the people who depart this life without experiencing the best of its feelings; that is Loving God and knowing His continuous remembrance. God says in the holy tradition: “I am at my servant’s expectations, and I am with him whenever he calls onto me, If he draws near me one span of hand, I draw near him a cubit, and if he draws near me a cubit, I draw near him an ell, and if he approaches my path walking, I approach him hurriedly.” The driving force behind the actions of those with sound hearts is always their love towards God, and their protection against relapse is their fear from Him.

 Amr: Why are you so sure that such a creator does exist though you cannot see him, speak to him or receive any messages directly from him?!

 Zein: Have you ever seen a beehive?!

Amr: Absolutely!

 Zein: Do you think that bees are intellectual creatures?

 Amr: Well, I’m not sure; maybe they do have some kind of a tiny brain.

 Zein: Tiny brain! If I were to ask you to draw for me 100 hexagons without a compass, a ruler, a protractor or any external tool but a pen; on the condition that all the 100 hexagons would be similar with exactly 120 degrees angles and equal sides, will you be able to do that?

 Amr: No.

 Zein: Now do you think that bees have minds that enable them to build hives with hundreds or thousands of these similar hexagonal shapes and internal chambers without the need for any of those tools that you need to finish the job?

 Amr: Okay maybe they do, but where is this leading to?!

 Zein: This leads to understanding that it’s enough to see the signs in order to understand that there exists an effective cause behind them. What about this complex universe with millions of constellations, planets, stars, etc., guided by physical laws that scientists have discovered, are still discovering and writing down in voluminous books? Did it come to exist merely through some kind of creative chaos, without any need for organization and guidance from an “Intelligent Capable Designer” or an “Omniscient Omnipotent Creator”?! Creative chaos can for example produce the sand dunes in the deserts, but it cannot produce a huge self sustaining palace by this sand or build a pyramid. Complexity is a sign for intelligence and capability. What do you think of a much more complicated thing as the human RNA and DNA?!

 Amr: Your logic is void; for if complexity is a sign for intelligence then from where did that most intelligent creator come?! How can you imagine His existence?

 Zein: The Creator is not a creature to come or happen or comply with the laws of the creatures that need a cause for their existence. He is the source of all that exists but our minds always stand incapable of imagining his nature. There is a huge difference between reason and imagination. Reason tells us that complexity cannot happen by coincidence, for example; if I blindfold you, give you 10 darts and ask you to throw them all into the middle circle of the dart board; can you do this?

 Amr: If I’m well trained; I can.

 Zein: True. This means that the more complicated the deed is; the more training and capabilities you shall need to acquire in order to accomplish it. What if I number the darts from 1 to 10 and ask you to throw them in their order of numbering?

 Amr: I shall need to remove the blindfolds in order to see the numbers.

 Zein: True. This means that the more the obstacles are and the more complicated things get; the more senses and capabilities you shall need in order to accomplish the mission. Have you ever seen the pyramids?

 Amr: Yes.

 Zein: Do you know that with all of the advanced modern technologies humans have today; they still can’t build a pyramid like “Khufu”?

 Amr: Yes I know that. Can you make your point clearer?

 Zein: Can you say that “Khufu” was built by a coincidence or by any of the sand storms or natural catastrophes that occurred in Egypt back in time or by any form of creative chaos without the need for intelligent creatures to design and build it?

 Amr: Absolutely not.

 Zein: How be it with something much more complicated like a bee? Can Humans create one bee that lives, reproduces, builds hives and makes honey like the natural bee which we know?

 Amr: I don’t think they can.

 Zein: So you cannot draw 100 identical hexagons without geometrical tools. You need training and the use of your eyesight simply to throw 10 darts in the correct order and hit the target prescribed to you. You don’t accept it that the Pyramid could have been built through some kind of creative chaos and agree that it needs intelligent designers having more knowledge than what we have today on earth, but still you accept it that bees that are a million times more complicated and us as humans and all of this universe surrounding us have come to exist by coincidence through some kind of blind creative chaos; merely because you cannot imagine how the Creator who has created everything exists. Where is the logic in that?!

 Amr: Science has already proven that matter cannot be created from nothing. This means that matter is eternal, it has always been there and it was not preceded by a creator.

 Zein: Have you read about nuclear fusion Amr?

 Amr: Yes, absolutely.

 Zein: What does the theory say?

 Amr: It is a nuclear reaction in which two or more atomic nuclei collide at a very high speed and join to form a new type of atomic nucleus. During this process, matter is not conserved because some of the matter of the fusing nuclei is converted to energy.

 Zein: Great, this means that if matter can be converted into energy; then the reaction can also be reversed, and huge amounts of energy could be changed to matter. Amazingly this is what science has come to realize today. Therefore; assuming that matter was preceded by a powerful mighty Creator does not contradict science.

 Amr: If this mighty knowledgeable creator does exist and he is perfect as you claim; then how come that he created the universe? What was the urge behind this and why did he need to do it?! He should have been self-sufficient having no need to create anything at all.

 Zein: He is perfect and self-sufficient, and no one could reach such state except if he can do whatever he wants without having to explain his actions to those who are lesser than him. He is free to create whatever He wants. Not knowing the purpose of creation doesn’t nullify the fact that it happened, or else we will deny our own existence. Not knowing the purpose of creation is like not understanding the purpose for which painters draw paintings or why musicians make music, it’s a capability that they have and we can’t ask them why do you make beautiful art? So is the case with the Creator; He can create beautiful marvelous things, this is one of His attributes, so why should we ask Him why do you create?! Even if some may say that artists make art so that people will get to know their talent and admire it, then why do you deny this right to the One who has created those artists and granted them their gifts?!

 Amr: This is apologetic.

 Zein: If according to your measures; logical reasonable thinking is considered apologetic; then by all means it’s an honor to be an apologist.

 Amr: I can’t see any reason in your responses; you are just repeating what you were taught since childhood.

 Zein: Truly amazing how those who deny the existence of God, resurrection, paradise and hell make them the token around which most of their talks revolve, thereafter they dare speak about reason and logic.

Unfortunately; This debate never ends and the two friends don’t intend to back up.

For similar posts, kindly follow my other Blog: Islamic Methodologies Made Easy

Written By: Ehab Shawky

In response to: Groupthink

Farewell, Adieu, Salam

Farewell O Life; By: Ehab Shawky

Good bye faithful friend

Alone I shall have to wend

Good bye beautiful nature

You were my soul’s preacher


Good bye O rains

In my land awaits fruitful grains

Good bye cloudy skies

You always caught my eyes


Good bye O sun

In your refreshing light I shall no more walk or run

Good bye River Nile

Your view always made me smile


Good bye Mediterranean

I shall walk no more in your dominion


Good bye my poetry

You were my soul’s remedy

Good bye my pen

I shall never hold you again

Good bye my words

I wish you reach all places like birds


Good bye O life

I hope many others will continue my strife

Good bye horrible stress

My soul; you shall no longer suppress

Good bye O sadness

I hope I’ll never taste again your bitterness


Ehab Shawky Abd El-Khalek

(February 1980 –  Soon)

A Coptic Muslim who hoped to change the world

With what’s inside his heart and his writings.

My View About Islam – A Five Years Journey

Originally I’m an HVAC engineer, I’m not a Sheikh or a Mula, I believe that there is not such a thing as religious authority in Islam; on the contrary, the Qur’an urges all Muslims to READ & LEARN. From this take off point, in 2010 I decided to start my own individual research in religions in order to know and understand why am I a Muslim? All I wanted was to reach the truth and be a better person, a better human being, and I ended up writing a book.

This could be extremely not interesting for most people, but I feel that my fate is approaching its end and I wanted this work to reach others, maybe one person will find it interesting and beneficial. This is the link to my book:

Islamic Methodologies Made Easy – Ehab Shawky

And this is the link to the book’s blog:

Islamic Methodologies Made Easy Blog


In response to: The Daily Post

I Have Confidence in Me


By : Ehab Shawky

ImageThere she stood supplicating

to her Lord and imploring

“O my Lord grant me a righteous son,

Who would serve you & all sins shun,

I have pledged for you what’s in my womb,

To strive in your cause from birth to tomb,

O Lord accept with your grace what I conceive,

Set him as an example for all those who believe.”

Allah heard her; He is the All-Hearer

He destined the baby to become the keeper

The baby was born, a blessed daughter

She came to the earth like rain water

Pure and clean reviving faith

May all deniers see their wraith

“O Lord I gave birth to a female,

I named her Mary, may she avail

believers throughout the ages

May her story be told in their holy pages

O Lord protect her and her progeny from satan

Keep their hearts with faith awaken.”

So grew Mary under Zechariah’s care

The most pious among all women, the most fair


Loving solitude and worshiping her Lord

Taking her faith as her hoard

She withdrew from all people towards the east

Seeking to pray & on her Lord’s words feast

There came to her the angel in the appearance of a human

“I seek Allah’s refuge from you if you were a pious man”

“Have no fear; I’m Your Lord’s envoy,

Giving you glad tidings of a baby boy,

Allah has chosen you above the women of the world,

Worship your Lord for it shall be as you’re told.”

“How can I give birth when I’m a virgin?!,

No man has touched me, this is certain”

“So it shall be, if your Lord desires a matter,

He just says “BE”, that’s all He needs utter,

He is The Omniscient, The Omnipotent,

He is The Creator, He is Proficient.”


So it was & Mary conceived the child

Until delivery, she sought seclusion in the wild

Her Lord’s angel visited her frequently

Taking care of her and advising her gently

“Eat from the dates of palm trees,

It shall help you give birth at ease,

So did Mary give birth to a baby boy

Peace be upon him, Our Lord’s Envoy


“It’s time to take him to his people” says the angel

“He shall renew the laws in the hearts of the faithful,

If you see any human, with him don’t talk,

Gesture him that you are fasting & continue to walk”

She returned to her people carrying her child,

They looked at her suspiciously, their looks were wild

“O Mary, you have made a grave sin,

You have defiled the lineage of your own kin”

She beckoned to the child in a strange way

“How can we speak to a baby, what can he say?!”


And the miraculously born child responded:

“I am the servant of The Lord,

I am His word,

He gave me The Gospel,

& sent me to the lost sheep of Israel,

He made me blessed wherever I may be,

& bestowed upon me His miracles; may the blind hearts see,

I am The Lord’s messenger & shepherd,

A confirmation for the Torah & what’s not yet delivered,

I bring glad tidings of what’s yet to come,

& I shall tell you of Alaha’s kingdom,

Heavens shall not pass till whatever I say is fulfilled,

Then again I shall return & True faith; I shall rebuild.

Inspired from the Qur’an’s account on Mary & Jesus P.B.U.T.


Elegy for Rachel Corrie By : Ehab Shawky


There was once a girl who had a dream

A dream based on a noble theme

There she stood reciting the words

Hoping they would fly like birds

Reaching people everywhere

May they listen, may they care;

To reunite the torn parts

To Heal children’s broken hearts

“My dream can & will come true”

Was a belief that she lived to pursue

So young and faithful

Sincere and thoughtful

With a heart of gold

Courageous and bold

Standing firm for the truth

While Still in the dew of her youth

“I’m here for other children, I’m here because I care”

Her everlasting words shall forever glare

Guiding hearts & minds

From upon them removing the blinds

“I’m here because children everywhere are suffering”

A truth that most people ignore even uttering

They only look beneath their feet

They live enslaved by self conceit

“My dream is to give the poor a chance”

Striving for her dream; was her adopted stance

Her understanding of life was amazing

Her outstanding strife remains blazing

Rest in peace precious dreamer

Your dream lives through your deeds

You reclaimed the land, you sow the seeds

Your blood was the price you had to pay

Rest in peace & we shall continue the way

We won’t stop till your dream comes true

For your dream is our dream too

We shall fear no darkness, we shall forever fight

Till we have victory, till we see freedom’s light

Life without a dream is a waste

Life without a strife has no taste

Rest in peace precious dreamer

Your strife was your dream’s redeemer



Silent Thoughts By : Ehab Shawky


Suffering the treachery of the wind

Having my wings pinned

I lie naked in the shadow

Under a tree amidst a meadow

Watching a little bird fly

Eager to reach the sky

How brave and bold it was

Striving for such an impossible cause

Never tired from falling

Never giving in to crawling

Always rising again

Insisting to win


I looked at the bird and pondered

Over its actions and wondered

 Why couldn’t I be like him

Why couldn’t I surmount my whim

In my thoughts; I’m a prisoner

To my fate; I’m a petitioner

Waiting for a hazy old dream

To let me out & my soul redeem

When I shall fly as I please

My wings stretching in freedom’s breeze

Strong and sound

No longer bound


I wake up on reality

Realizing its brutality

Sometimes I ponder

Over my past & wonder

Have I lost my way

Have I gone astray

There is emptiness inside

Desperation; I try to hide

I cannot see any future

I only hope for a peaceful departure

When I think of my sins;

My head spins

I look at myself in despise

I look through my soul and recognize

My weakness and my shame;

From a will I found lame


 I look deeper and ponder;

Over my secrets and wonder

Why am I so weak

My happiness I never seek

As if I am punishing me soul

Into the unknown I continue to fall

Maybe I’m used to being a victim

Pretending to accept destiny’s dictum

Like a helpless wounded bird

Or a lamp straying from its herd

I’m trapped in a barbered wire

I’m Sinking in a deep mire

Will someone lend me a hand?

Will destiny help me stand?

Unaware of the future

Unable to heal my fracture

I continue to live bound by destiny’s pincer

I continue to lie waiting for an answer


In response to:


Since my childhood I have always been extremely excited by the clown show. Back at school, when we were still in kindergarten, they used to bring us the clown show annually inside the school’s yard before midyear’s vacation. We used to stand in half circles around the little theater prepared for the show. During the show, the clowns chose some pupils from among us to go on stage and dance with them. I got chosen once with my best friend, truly this was one of the happiest moments of my life back then. We were like crazy dancing and jumping with the clowns on the stage. A true moment of happiness that I enjoyed very much. Finally, we took some photographs with the clowns, then went down stage. When I grew up, I realized that clowns are the most under estimated persons in my country. They are always laughed at but never with. I guess that this could be the case in many other countries as well. No one really wants to make friends with the clown and introduce him to his friends or his children as your uncle “Whatever”; the clown. Maybe you and me don’t think this way, but a lot of people actually do. I think that it’s time for people to start looking beyond the outer box. It’s time to know persons for what they are not just what they do.

 This poem is dedicated for one of the nicest professions that are always underestimated. I named it “The Sad Smile”.


I smile at all faces even if my heart cries

I smile and continue to live in disguise

I love to make people happy

Their smiles make my pains nappy

Without their smiles I cannot live

My show and jokes are all I can give

I jump and giggle

I shout and jiggle

I stumble and crawl

I throw ball after ball

They yell and cheer

They laugh and jeer

They smile and clap

Throwing slap after slap

At a heart swelling with pain

By its blunt edge slain

They see me on a stage

But never in a cage

They see me smile

They fall for the wile

They only see what their eyes catch

But their hearts; they never unlatch

They never wish to see my real face

The red nose is what they embrace

They bring their children to watch the show

But teach them never to be like me when they grow

I cannot blame them

Leaves scatter around the stem

who would want his child to become a clown!

To become the joke of the town

On stage; I’m like a king

To real life; I barely cling

I’m like a feather in the wind

My aspirations I cannot defend

I don’t have control over my life

I dare not keep my dreams rife

I just live day by day

Between daily blows I sway

A day without a blow is a grace

A day without pain; has no trace

Soon I won’t be able to jump like before

Soon I won’t be able to catch balls anymore

Soon I won’t be receiving any smile

I will only have my room as an exile

Dreaming of a miraculous chance

Waiting for happiness to glance

At a soul falling in oblivion

Eager to escape life’s dominion

Seeking to flee from solitude’s dungeons

Hoping to join the dwellers of kindness mansions

Re-blogged In Response To:

Daily Prompt: Jiggle